Birth trauma – Are you suffering from birth trauma? If so, please know it’s not a life sentence. I can help you resolve birth trauma in 3 gentle sessions.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I’m a different person since the birth.”
“I’m going through the motions but I don’t feel connected to my baby. I must be a bad mother.”
“My body completely failed me, I don’t trust it anymore.”
“I’m depressed, not my usual self. Maybe it’s just hard being a mother.”
If you’re suffering from birth trauma, post-natal depression or attachment problems with your baby, you’re not alone. Research shows as many as 35% of women experience birth trauma and that it’s one of the leading causes of post-natal depression. Up to 10% of women experience symptoms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after giving birth. The good news is that there is a way out. I’ve supported hundreds of mothers (and sometimes fathers) to come out the other side of birth trauma as stronger, wiser, more compassionate people.
Symptoms of birth trauma include things like:
- intrusive memories that trigger strong physical, emotional or mental reactions
- desire to avoid anything to do with birth
- feeling disconnected from your baby
- forgetting significant parts of your experience
- emotional numbness and/or irritability and anger
- hyper-vigilance and sleeping problems
- spiritual hopelessness
- panic attacks
- exaggerated startle response
- disrupted social or work capacity
Birth trauma may or may not involve complications during labour and birth. What looks straightforward on paper can still send shock waves through your entire being and leave you feeling deeply traumatised. Your inner perception of your experience is what counts. If you feel like you’re drowning, yet your partner or caregivers don’t think there’s a problem, trust your instincts; you know when something’s not right.
Here’s how I can help. With a safe, non-intrusive approach, I use hypnotherapy because it’s excellent for providing immediate relief and rapid resolution of these distressing symptoms. There’s usually a significant improvement after the first session. Through my gentle guidance and care, I support you to transform the trauma into an initiation into the deep wisdom of being female. Birth trauma survivors are warriors – incredibly courageous and strong!
The 3 key benefits you’ll experience from my birth trauma debriefing:
1. Accurate Diagnosis: Sadly birth trauma is very common in the hospital system with its medicalised model of birth. When women are traumatised by birth, they know something’s wrong and they often assume that they are the problem – they failed, it was their fault, their body let them down. Sometimes they’re diagnosed with postnatal depression (which is a symptom of the trauma) and put on anti-depressant medication. They may go to health professionals for help and if those helpers are not aware of birth trauma and its impacts, the underlying cause may not be identified. There’s a role for anti-depressants to support the healing process. However, an accurate diagnosis and correct naming of what’s wrong is the beginning of recovery. When women are enabled to join the dots in their experience, the relief is immediate.
2. Relief of Suffering and Symptoms: My gentle debriefing process enables you to rapidly break the cycle of distress, panic, dissociation and depression. I guide you to release the emotional energy locked in the past so you can return to the present moment and enjoy being with your baby. In addition to the mental and emotional symptoms, there’s also a range of physical symptoms that can accompany birth trauma – digestive and gut problems, headaches, body tension and insomnia. These symptoms are alleviated as your body releases the trauma and returns to its natural balance.
3. Reconnect with Your Baby. As a mother it’s your birthright to feel connected with your baby and your instinctive capacity for mothering. When you’re traumatised, you feel disconnected from yourself and also from your baby. Time seems to slow down because the energy in your body is blocked. You spend a lot of time waiting to feel better, yet the ‘better’ seems to slip further away. Meanwhile, your baby is growing and passing all the milestones, and you feel robbed of this precious time of intimacy. I use the analogy of rock boulders blocking the love between the two of you. When you’ve had a chance to release the trauma, your deep love of your baby and your baby’s love for you – which have been there all along – are free to flow in both directions.
If you know you’re suffering with birth trauma, take action. Do it for yourself, your baby and your family. It requires courage to give me a call or make an appointment. But you have lots of that after what you’ve been through. I’d consider it an honour to work with you. You won’t regret it and you won’t look back.
“I am feeling better about it all, so thank you for your help. No more of the room spinning, gas effect, flash backs. I realised that I'd had them more than I thought and it wasn't till the last one that I linked it to that feeling from the gas during the labour. When we did the meditation and you said at the beginning 'the birth of your son', I teared up because I felt I didn't "give birth" because of the caesarean. I caught up with a friend today and talked a lot about my son's birth without getting upset, as was previously happening. Definitely still have the feeling of loss missing out on the birth I had hoped for but can deal with that better without the trauma. Thank you.”
“Thank you so much for today. I can see clearly why the Universe wanted me to meet you.... I think I was still in shock when I spoke to you after the relaxation exercise because I couldn't articulate how powerful I felt the love in my body or how strong the body sensations were. I am so looking forward to our next chat. You were placed on this earth to do exactly what you are doing and I am so grateful to have crossed paths with you.”
“It's hard to sum up as it’s been such a shift for me in such a short time, from one emotional end to another. I suffered from a traumatic birth where it took me over four years to acknowledge this. I never considered the potential emotional impacts this could have on me down the track. I then met with Sharon and immediately began my healing journey. My experience with Sharon has been so much more than I ever expected. In such a short time, Sharon has provided me with so much clarity and reassurance, I am now able to move forward and feel OK about things that for so long, I really struggled to even think about. Thank you Sharon, I will be forever grateful! As will my precious family.”
Pregnancy Losses – Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Neonatal Death, Termination of Pregnancy
“I’m devastated and no-one even knew I was pregnant.”
“I feel like it was my fault, like I’m a bad mother because I couldn’t protect my baby.”
“Life seems meaningless and empty. What’s the point?”
“I can’t function properly. I don’t know if I’ll ever be normal again”
“Everyone else is getting on with their lives and my whole life has fallen to pieces.”
The death of a baby is one of the most painful, confronting experiences we can undergo as a woman. When new life has begun growing inside us and the light goes out, we feel that loss to the depths of our soul. Being the offspring-bearing sex means we know death from within the intimate contours of our bodies.
As women, we get pregnant and miscarry. Sometimes we hold a still baby in our arms. Despite the best care and technology available, babies still die, sometimes for no apparent reason. It’s tragic and heart-breaking, yet it’s part of being female.
Death is part of life. Because we live in such a death-denying culture, we’re led to believe that babies shouldn’t die. Yet they do. It’s always been so. When death visits us, how we navigate the experience can make all the difference to the quality of our lives from then on.
If your baby has died, I’ll support you in your grieving, mentor you into your deep strength as a woman and encourage you to find your way own way forward. In my experience, grieving women are incredibly strong and courageous; they don’t need rescuing – just support and understanding and connection. I believe you have the inner resources and resilience to negotiate your transformation.
The 5 key benefits you’ll experience from connecting with me:
2. Validation of the depth of your response. The death of a baby cuts to the core. It penetrates to the very depths of our being. Many people are uncomfortable with the depth of this anguish. Losing a child plunges us into one of the deepest mysteries of our existence as human beings. For me, it’s a privilege to hold the space for someone to experience their humanity during such a sacred, life-changing time. Creating a safe space for you to experience the depths of your grief, sharing in your experience and validating it are some of the ways I hold space for you. I’m not afraid to stand in the fire with you.
1. Permission to grieve. The loss of a baby is devastating, heart-breaking, life-changing. Nothing will ever be the same. We grieve for our beautiful babies and feel the loss so keenly. Grieving is a normal response to death. It is not mental illness. When a baby dies, at whatever stage in the pregnancy or after the birth, you need full permission to grieve in your own unique way. You may grieve in private, in public or both. Your grief might result in uncharacteristic behaviours, things you wouldn’t normally do and it’s totally ok. You’ll express your grieving in ways that are individual to you and that no-one else may understand. What matters is that you’re able to express your grief in your way.
3. Support. Meeting death is one of those times when we really need the support of other people. By nature, we are social beings and at a time like this, we need to be supported, compassionately, in a safe space, so we can find our way forward amidst the chaos. The definition of support is to “bear all or part of the weight of; to give assistance to; or to give encouragement to someone because you want the person to succeed.” That’s how I see my contribution. I support you by sharing your load, and I encourage you because I want you to come through the experience as a better human being. Your baby’s death can open your heart like nothing else.
4. Connecting with your baby. Although your baby is no longer physically present with you, it’s still possible to maintain a loving connection with this little person who meant so much and will forever be with you. Love is indestructible and your intimate connection with the spirit of your baby is something you can take comfort in and draw upon. Connecting in this new way can be deeply healing.
5. Guidance through your transformation. The journey of grief and loss is also a transformation of identity. Even babies who were with us a short time touch our hearts and change our lives permanently. After someone you love deeply has died, you are not the same person you were before. You are becoming someone else. In the process, you may feel blind, lost, alone and like no-one understands. Transformation is hard work and it can help to have someone who understands to guide you through that period of time.
Standing alongside a mother who is grieving the loss of her baby, and holding space for her to feel the depths of her loss and express it freely, is a privilege. It’s truly sacred work. If you feel a resonance with my approach, I’d love to hear from you and support you.
“The cosmic power residing in the female body remains an unquenchable flame, whose torch is passed on down the generations.”